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If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you'd be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.

Brad Williams

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More quotes by Brad Williams

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It's extremely important for people to be informed and to be educated and to know what's going in their community and in their country, but every now and then you just kind of want to turn the brain off for a little bit and just laugh and be silly.
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When you talk about modern comedy I think there's a big three right now, and that's Louis C.K., Bill Burr, and Jim Jefferies. I don't think anyone's doing it better than those three guys.
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The vast majority of people that have gotten mad at me for a joke that I've made were people that were, A, never going to see me in the first place, or, B, were dragged to see me by somebody else.
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I'm not going to talk too much politics because I'm not smart enough to do that.
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I'm in awe of comics that do things that I can't do, or haven't tried doing yet.
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I was always the funny guy. Everyone wants to hang out with the funny guy.
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I don't get all the anger that is thrown at comedians.
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I don't get to the global issues or anything like that. I am just trying to be silly.
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If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards and says, That joke offended me, I'm still more or less not going to listen, but at least it makes sense, like I said something that was about them.
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Yeah, people do need to realize that just because they've seen me perform for an hour does not mean that we are now close.
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I kind of want to know a little bit about everything.
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It's very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.
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Every now and then we're going to fail.
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It takes a surprisingly large amount of intelligence to be a professional idiot.
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I don't know, why am I called the opposite of what I am? It's very confusing to me.
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Everyone's extremely and easily offended now.
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I like to play video games, I like to keep up with sports, and I just like to spend time with people, because I'm on the road so much that when I'm home, I like to spend time with people that I don't normally get to see.
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I like to talk about very different topics. I like to jump around a lot because I don't want people to come see me and then for an hour I tell jokes about being a little person. I just don't want that to happen. I understand that it's part of me, that's the first thing that you notice and it's something that people are curious about.
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There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems with being fat.
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I want to go to Australia so bad, do comedy there, and see the people there. It's a great country. I have friends that are Australian that have told me all about it. I want to do comedy there.
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