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If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you'd be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.

Brad Williams

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More quotes by Brad Williams

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If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards and says, That joke offended me, I'm still more or less not going to listen, but at least it makes sense, like I said something that was about them.
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I want to go to Australia so bad, do comedy there, and see the people there. It's a great country. I have friends that are Australian that have told me all about it. I want to do comedy there.
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I'm not going to talk too much politics because I'm not smart enough to do that.
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It takes a surprisingly large amount of intelligence to be a professional idiot.
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Every now and then we're going to fail.
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I don't want to be mean. I try not to be.
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I like to play video games, I like to keep up with sports, and I just like to spend time with people, because I'm on the road so much that when I'm home, I like to spend time with people that I don't normally get to see.
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When you talk about modern comedy I think there's a big three right now, and that's Louis C.K., Bill Burr, and Jim Jefferies. I don't think anyone's doing it better than those three guys.
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I don't get all the anger that is thrown at comedians.
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It's extremely important for people to be informed and to be educated and to know what's going in their community and in their country, but every now and then you just kind of want to turn the brain off for a little bit and just laugh and be silly.
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I'm in awe of comics that do things that I can't do, or haven't tried doing yet.
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I don't get to the global issues or anything like that. I am just trying to be silly.
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I'm in awe of comedians that do things that I can't do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether it be social issues commentary, whether it be - hell, Carrot Top. I can't be Carrot Top. I can't.
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When a soldier of the night's watch dies they say, And now his watch is over. That's what they say when a comedian dies. They go, And now his tour is done.
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I just don't get if you have ever gotten offended by a joke, why would you go to a comedy club? That's where jokes happen.
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I don't know, why am I called the opposite of what I am? It's very confusing to me.
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I try not to be hateful.
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I would love, obviously, just to keep doing stand-up. That's the constant. That's the thing that I'm going to do for the rest of my life, but also I would like a TV show at some point.
Brad Williams
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I'm such a damn workaholic, that it's interesting to be like, Oh, what do I do for fun?
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I kind of want to know a little bit about everything.
Brad Williams