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It takes a surprisingly large amount of intelligence to be a professional idiot.

Brad Williams

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Brad Williams
Surprisingly
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Professional
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More quotes by Brad Williams

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I'm such a damn workaholic, that it's interesting to be like, Oh, what do I do for fun?
Brad Williams
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People ask me a lot like, Hey, so when are you done with your tour? Like when I die. That's when I'm done with my tour.
Brad Williams
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I don't get all the anger that is thrown at comedians.
Brad Williams
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I'm in awe of comics that do things that I can't do, or haven't tried doing yet.
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If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you'd be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.
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I'm funny because I'm funny. And there's more to offer.
Brad Williams
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I want to go to Australia so bad, do comedy there, and see the people there. It's a great country. I have friends that are Australian that have told me all about it. I want to do comedy there.
Brad Williams
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I was always the funny guy. Everyone wants to hang out with the funny guy.
Brad Williams
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If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards and says, That joke offended me, I'm still more or less not going to listen, but at least it makes sense, like I said something that was about them.
Brad Williams
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It's very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.
Brad Williams
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I don't want to be mean. I try not to be.
Brad Williams
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I don't know, why am I called the opposite of what I am? It's very confusing to me.
Brad Williams
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I don't get to the global issues or anything like that. I am just trying to be silly.
Brad Williams
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I was a disabled child. So, people made fun of me, don't pretend like this never happens. But at the same time, I never cried about it. I never got sad about it.
Brad Williams
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I like to talk about very different topics. I like to jump around a lot because I don't want people to come see me and then for an hour I tell jokes about being a little person. I just don't want that to happen. I understand that it's part of me, that's the first thing that you notice and it's something that people are curious about.
Brad Williams
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I'm in awe of comedians that do things that I can't do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether it be social issues commentary, whether it be - hell, Carrot Top. I can't be Carrot Top. I can't.
Brad Williams
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Most of the times to be honest with you, I get sexually harassed certainly more than I do to females, because... they are comfortable with me, and because they know I can't take it to a dangerous place.
Brad Williams
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I would love, obviously, just to keep doing stand-up. That's the constant. That's the thing that I'm going to do for the rest of my life, but also I would like a TV show at some point.
Brad Williams
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I try not to be hateful.
Brad Williams
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The vast majority of people that have gotten mad at me for a joke that I've made were people that were, A, never going to see me in the first place, or, B, were dragged to see me by somebody else.
Brad Williams