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It takes a surprisingly large amount of intelligence to be a professional idiot.

Brad Williams

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Brad Williams
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More quotes by Brad Williams

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I was a disabled child. So, people made fun of me, don't pretend like this never happens. But at the same time, I never cried about it. I never got sad about it.
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I try not to be hateful.
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If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards and says, That joke offended me, I'm still more or less not going to listen, but at least it makes sense, like I said something that was about them.
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I want to go to Australia so bad, do comedy there, and see the people there. It's a great country. I have friends that are Australian that have told me all about it. I want to do comedy there.
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Every now and then we're going to fail.
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Most of the times to be honest with you, I get sexually harassed certainly more than I do to females, because... they are comfortable with me, and because they know I can't take it to a dangerous place.
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When you talk about modern comedy I think there's a big three right now, and that's Louis C.K., Bill Burr, and Jim Jefferies. I don't think anyone's doing it better than those three guys.
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I don't think I'm extremely intelligent by any means.
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I'm funny because I'm funny. And there's more to offer.
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Yeah, people do need to realize that just because they've seen me perform for an hour does not mean that we are now close.
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I'm such a damn workaholic, that it's interesting to be like, Oh, what do I do for fun?
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Everyone's extremely and easily offended now.
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I don't know, why am I called the opposite of what I am? It's very confusing to me.
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I was always the funny guy. Everyone wants to hang out with the funny guy.
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I'm in awe of comics that do things that I can't do, or haven't tried doing yet.
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I like to talk about very different topics. I like to jump around a lot because I don't want people to come see me and then for an hour I tell jokes about being a little person. I just don't want that to happen. I understand that it's part of me, that's the first thing that you notice and it's something that people are curious about.
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I don't get to the global issues or anything like that. I am just trying to be silly.
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I would love, obviously, just to keep doing stand-up. That's the constant. That's the thing that I'm going to do for the rest of my life, but also I would like a TV show at some point.
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The vast majority of people that have gotten mad at me for a joke that I've made were people that were, A, never going to see me in the first place, or, B, were dragged to see me by somebody else.
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When a soldier of the night's watch dies they say, And now his watch is over. That's what they say when a comedian dies. They go, And now his tour is done.
Brad Williams