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I guess the biggest issue my husband and I are going to have is how do we raise the baby... because he's Jewish and I'm Protestant and the baby's father is Catholic.
Bonnie McFarlane
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Bonnie McFarlane
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: March 28
Comedian
Podcaster
Stand-Up Comedian
Father
Raises
Going
Catholic
Issue
Biggest
Guess
Protestant
Husband
Protestants
Baby
Jewish
Issues
Raise
More quotes by Bonnie McFarlane
Just a tip if you have a big event to go to or an important meeting, if you cry enough your face swells up giving you a temporary lift.
Bonnie McFarlane
When I first started doing stand-up, I would be so nervous that I would just binge drink really heavily right before my sets, and as you can imagine, that had its drawbacks. But now I'm a professional, so I pace myself throughout the day.
Bonnie McFarlane
If you really are superior, you don't go around saying you're superior - unless you're Jewish.
Bonnie McFarlane
I saw the head of NOW - National Organization of Women - saying that women still only make 70 cents on the dollar to every man. I'm not sure I'm going to believe that. Women are notoriously bad at math.
Bonnie McFarlane
I think it's creepy if a guy says, I would never hit a girl. Cause that should go without saying. That's like if you ever heard a guy go, I would never crap in a hot tub.
Bonnie McFarlane
I've always wanted to be a writer. Always been very creative. I always laughed at things that the rest of my family would sort of get angry, like not understand.
Bonnie McFarlane
You know, women are burdened with all this other crap all the time, like looking good. You need to be really superhuman to be successful as a woman.
Bonnie McFarlane
When you're pregnant, people feel like they can come up and give you unsolicited advice. When I was nine months pregnant, this one woman came up and she said, I have one word for you: epidural. And I was like, Oh my God, thanks. But we already picked a name.
Bonnie McFarlane
I love my hunting dog. I loved my hunting dog - I'm not very good at hunting.
Bonnie McFarlane
Intellectually, I think everyone really knows that women are funny, but it's a weird thing that people keep trotting out.
Bonnie McFarlane
I grew up in a mixed religious household. And it was volatile. My dad's atheist, my mom's agnostic. Just constant fighting. There's no God! There might be!
Bonnie McFarlane
There's no such thing as a feminist - just women who pay for their own breast implants.
Bonnie McFarlane
Well I grew up in Canada in a really small town. We didn't have running water for a long time and we didn't have TV. Then when we did get TV we only had one channel.
Bonnie McFarlane
When one door closes another door opens. Usually a refrigerator.
Bonnie McFarlane
I've been called a racist before, and let me tell you something - that is harsh. That's a really ugly thing to call someone. That's like being called a Mexican.
Bonnie McFarlane
If you enjoy shaming people, I suggest dentistry as a profession.
Bonnie McFarlane
