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My dad's like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars?

Bob Saget

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Bob Saget
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: May 17
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Robert Lane Saget
Sex
Thousand
Videotape
Winning
Falls
Funny
Bed
Fall
Ten
Like
Dad
Mom
Dollars

More quotes by Bob Saget

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I'm doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it's fantastic and it makes me very happy. I'm dirty, but not like this I just do comedy that I find funny. I'm working on a new tv show for cable and it's not set up yet.
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A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!
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My favorite procrastination is to make the choice to have valuable times with human beings that I care about instead of holing myself up alone to get my work done.
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It's a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is - reading the news or speaking to people.
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My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.
Bob Saget
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I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.
Bob Saget
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It's so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.
Bob Saget
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I don't censor myself, but I don't want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.
Bob Saget
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I think comedy is on an organic upsurge right now because when I started, it was 1978 at The Comedy Store and Letterman had just stopped emceeing his morning show.
Bob Saget
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Full House was a show that was done for ten-year-olds. The critics hated it. They said terrible, terrible things about it. But it should have been reviewed by ten-year-olds. That's who it was made for. They loved it. And if they loved it, great. Why the hell does a fifty-year-old guy working at a big newspaper have to tell me I'm a piece of crap?
Bob Saget
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My confidence wavers between being genuine and being insecure.
Bob Saget
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I'd like a nice piece of salmon that's not too pink inside and yet isn't too dry or crisp either.
Bob Saget
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What do you do if you're in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
Bob Saget
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I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn't get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn't join a biker club.
Bob Saget
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Soon, I'm going to meet somebody around my own age, and she's going to be smart and beautiful, and I'm going to date her daughter.
Bob Saget
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I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, 'Radio can wait, take me to the Full House house.' It literally was a drive-by. I photobombed the Full House house yesterday. I took like 20 pictures because I thought I didn't look good in any of these - you can't see the house! You gotta really show that that's the house!
Bob Saget
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It's 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It's enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren't there that are alive.
Bob Saget
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Nobody can tell me what I can or can't do, except they can.
Bob Saget
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Words matter. Especially ones with four letters.
Bob Saget
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I will always prefer a hardback book, but I'm drawn to digital because it's so easy to acquire them when I'm having a need-to-read moment.
Bob Saget