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And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You'd be nervous too if you knew that one day you'd get your head cut off and... filled with stuffing.

Bob Saget

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Bob Saget
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: May 17
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Robert Lane Saget
Filled
Cutting
Knew
Head
Stuffing
Turkeys
Nervous
Bird

More quotes by Bob Saget

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Soon, I'm going to meet somebody around my own age, and she's going to be smart and beautiful, and I'm going to date her daughter.
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It's so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.
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I'm doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it's fantastic and it makes me very happy. I'm dirty, but not like this I just do comedy that I find funny. I'm working on a new tv show for cable and it's not set up yet.
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What I've learned about comedy people is that they're defined by the harshest level they've been to, their personal Auschwitz.
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Saw a man in Whole Foods yelling at his son, What are you doing?! You know I don't eat bread!! Is there such a thing as health food abuse?
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My girlfriend just told me I am one of the smartest people she knows. I told her, You need to meet other people.
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Some dead people said smart stuff.
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I don't roll like that but I've never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that's good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that's a little disturbing.
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My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that's how he dealt with my mom.
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My dad's like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars?
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It's okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
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No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.
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If you go with Marshall McLuhan's theory that the medium is the message, as soon as you're hosting a blooper show, you're done.
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Now people want what the movie was about, which is violent comedy. And that's really what The Aristocrats is based on - what will a family do out of desperation.
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I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, 'Radio can wait, take me to the Full House house.' It literally was a drive-by. I photobombed the Full House house yesterday. I took like 20 pictures because I thought I didn't look good in any of these - you can't see the house! You gotta really show that that's the house!
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It's a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is - reading the news or speaking to people.
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Full House was a show that was done for ten-year-olds. The critics hated it. They said terrible, terrible things about it. But it should have been reviewed by ten-year-olds. That's who it was made for. They loved it. And if they loved it, great. Why the hell does a fifty-year-old guy working at a big newspaper have to tell me I'm a piece of crap?
Bob Saget
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I'm fortunate to know a lot of incredibly talented people, and they all want to be a penguin.
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All I've ever done is try to entertain my way through a life that often has a huge amount of heaviness in it.
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What do you do if you're in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
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