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I'm a believer that when one door closes another one opens. But why does the one opening always hit me full-speed-knob-first into my nuts?

Bob Saget

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Bob Saget
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: May 17
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Robert Lane Saget
Another
Opens
Doe
Nuts
Firsts
Believer
First
Opening
Always
Speed
Door
Knob
Doors
Knobs
Full
Closes

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I was in a supermarket and I saw Paul Newman's face on salad dressing and spaghetti sauce....I thought he was missing.
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I'd like a nice piece of salmon that's not too pink inside and yet isn't too dry or crisp either.
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Apparently my street has a leaf blower gang who tag team all day, so the sounds of the leaf blower are forever blowing from dawn to dusk.
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My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that's how he dealt with my mom.
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My confidence wavers between being genuine and being insecure.
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Nobody can tell me what I can or can't do, except they can.
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Valuable people are undervalued.
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One of the first things I said when I signed on for the show was No hugs! Full House was all based on hugs.
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My favorite Dylan song? I think it's 'Just Like a Woman.' It always makes me cry.
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Now people want what the movie was about, which is violent comedy. And that's really what The Aristocrats is based on - what will a family do out of desperation.
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When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you'd want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?
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It's so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.
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I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn't get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn't join a biker club.
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The selfish and usually pointless approach is to try to get both done simultaneously - accomplish your work at hand while begging forgiveness of those close to you while you're basically working in front of them during what could've been specifically 'quality time.'
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Words matter. Especially ones with four letters.
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I can't do negative, needy, or narcissistic anymore. Oh wait, I can still do the last one, aw nuts.
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I don't roll like that but I've never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that's good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that's a little disturbing.
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What do you do if you're in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
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Just went to a lovely Catholic wedding. I need a drink. They didn't even offer us water. Well they did, but it was Holy water.
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I have a feeling I'm going to wake up one day and say 'I can't do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean.' I'll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on we shot it at The Laugh Factory.
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