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If someone sprays windex in your food it can give you diarrhea. But once you wipe it off your windows, you're fine.
Bob Saget
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Bob Saget
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: May 17
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Robert Lane Saget
Food
Someone
Sprays
Give
Diarrhea
Giving
Spray
Wipe
Windows
Window
Fine
More quotes by Bob Saget
I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.
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I'm fortunate to know a lot of incredibly talented people, and they all want to be a penguin.
Bob Saget
I'm a believer that when one door closes another one opens. But why does the one opening always hit me full-speed-knob-first into my nuts?
Bob Saget
I don't like to drink alone 'cause there's nobody to fight with.
Bob Saget
No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.
Bob Saget
And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You'd be nervous too if you knew that one day you'd get your head cut off and... filled with stuffing.
Bob Saget
Paul Riser tells it in an interesting way he dissects it and tells the structure, you know, 'you don't mention that part here.' But that's what's interesting about it and the people who are absent are interesting too.
Bob Saget
I have a feeling I'm going to wake up one day and say 'I can't do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean.' I'll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on we shot it at The Laugh Factory.
Bob Saget
Concerned we're in a time where politicians can't even fake sincerity. Aren't they supposed to be good at that?
Bob Saget
My favorite Dylan song? I think it's 'Just Like a Woman.' It always makes me cry.
Bob Saget
Full House was a show that was done for ten-year-olds. The critics hated it. They said terrible, terrible things about it. But it should have been reviewed by ten-year-olds. That's who it was made for. They loved it. And if they loved it, great. Why the hell does a fifty-year-old guy working at a big newspaper have to tell me I'm a piece of crap?
Bob Saget
Some dead people said smart stuff.
Bob Saget
I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn't get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn't join a biker club.
Bob Saget
It's so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.
Bob Saget
When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you'd want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?
Bob Saget
What do you do if you're in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
Bob Saget
I am stressed because once I am flattened out so thin to be able to slide under a doorway, I may never be able to ever be unflattened so I could be regular sized again.
Bob Saget
One of the first things I said when I signed on for the show was No hugs! Full House was all based on hugs.
Bob Saget
My girlfriend just told me I am one of the smartest people she knows. I told her, You need to meet other people.
Bob Saget
My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.
Bob Saget
