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If someone sprays windex in your food it can give you diarrhea. But once you wipe it off your windows, you're fine.
Bob Saget
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Bob Saget
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: May 17
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Robert Lane Saget
Fine
Food
Someone
Sprays
Give
Diarrhea
Giving
Spray
Wipe
Windows
Window
More quotes by Bob Saget
Yet there are some people - Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored.
Bob Saget
I don't censor myself, but I don't want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.
Bob Saget
I like to approach every day like it's my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.
Bob Saget
It's okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
Bob Saget
If you go with Marshall McLuhan's theory that the medium is the message, as soon as you're hosting a blooper show, you're done.
Bob Saget
The selfish and usually pointless approach is to try to get both done simultaneously - accomplish your work at hand while begging forgiveness of those close to you while you're basically working in front of them during what could've been specifically 'quality time.'
Bob Saget
What do you do if you're in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
Bob Saget
A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked.
Bob Saget
Now people want what the movie was about, which is violent comedy. And that's really what The Aristocrats is based on - what will a family do out of desperation.
Bob Saget
I am stressed because once I am flattened out so thin to be able to slide under a doorway, I may never be able to ever be unflattened so I could be regular sized again.
Bob Saget
I was in a supermarket and I saw Paul Newman's face on salad dressing and spaghetti sauce....I thought he was missing.
Bob Saget
I will always prefer a hardback book, but I'm drawn to digital because it's so easy to acquire them when I'm having a need-to-read moment.
Bob Saget
Saw a man in Whole Foods yelling at his son, What are you doing?! You know I don't eat bread!! Is there such a thing as health food abuse?
Bob Saget
I have no plan except to take care of the people I love.
Bob Saget
When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you'd want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?
Bob Saget
I can't do negative, needy, or narcissistic anymore. Oh wait, I can still do the last one, aw nuts.
Bob Saget
It think acceptance levels sort of swings back and forth. Like in the 60's there was a lot more freedom with sex that doesn't exist today. Language has gotten pushed a bit farther and violence is way far out.
Bob Saget
Ladies, apologies, but isn't 'vintage' just used stuff?
Bob Saget
Words matter. Especially ones with four letters.
Bob Saget
I think comedy is on an organic upsurge right now because when I started, it was 1978 at The Comedy Store and Letterman had just stopped emceeing his morning show.
Bob Saget