Quote

Just went to a lovely Catholic wedding. I need a drink. They didn't even offer us water. Well they did, but it was Holy water.

Bob Saget

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Bob Saget
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: May 17
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Robert Lane Saget
Well
Catholic
Need
Offers
Needs
Drink
Even
Holy
Went
Water
Wedding
Didn
Offer
Wells
Lovely

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I'm a believer that when one door closes another one opens. But why does the one opening always hit me full-speed-knob-first into my nuts?
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I think comedy is on an organic upsurge right now because when I started, it was 1978 at The Comedy Store and Letterman had just stopped emceeing his morning show.
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Apparently my street has a leaf blower gang who tag team all day, so the sounds of the leaf blower are forever blowing from dawn to dusk.
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Words matter. Especially if you're kicking someone's ass in words with friends.
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What I've learned about comedy people is that they're defined by the harshest level they've been to, their personal Auschwitz.
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And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You'd be nervous too if you knew that one day you'd get your head cut off and... filled with stuffing.
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Concerned we're in a time where politicians can't even fake sincerity. Aren't they supposed to be good at that?
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Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I'm going back to bed.
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The greatness of a man is only measured by his urologist.
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What do you do if you're in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
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I was in a supermarket and I saw Paul Newman's face on salad dressing and spaghetti sauce....I thought he was missing.
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I have no plan except to take care of the people I love.
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