Quote

Just went to a lovely Catholic wedding. I need a drink. They didn't even offer us water. Well they did, but it was Holy water.

Bob Saget

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Bob Saget
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: May 17
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Robert Lane Saget
Wells
Lovely
Well
Catholic
Need
Offers
Needs
Drink
Even
Holy
Went
Water
Wedding
Didn
Offer

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It's okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
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Soon, I'm going to meet somebody around my own age, and she's going to be smart and beautiful, and I'm going to date her daughter.
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I think comedy is on an organic upsurge right now because when I started, it was 1978 at The Comedy Store and Letterman had just stopped emceeing his morning show.
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Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I'm going back to bed.
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Some dead people said smart stuff.
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I'm a believer that when one door closes another one opens. But why does the one opening always hit me full-speed-knob-first into my nuts?
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My dad's like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars?
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If you go with Marshall McLuhan's theory that the medium is the message, as soon as you're hosting a blooper show, you're done.
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I'm fortunate to know a lot of incredibly talented people, and they all want to be a penguin.
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It's so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.
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I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they're really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I'm not laughing.
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What I've learned about comedy people is that they're defined by the harshest level they've been to, their personal Auschwitz.
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I like to approach every day like it's my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.
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My favorite Dylan song? I think it's 'Just Like a Woman.' It always makes me cry.
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My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.
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I just did a play in New York which has been my best experience that Ive had for maybe ever. It was Paul Weitzs play called Privilege and I was in New York for three months.
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Words matter. Especially ones with four letters.
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Yet there are some people - Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored.
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I'm doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it's fantastic and it makes me very happy. I'm dirty, but not like this I just do comedy that I find funny. I'm working on a new tv show for cable and it's not set up yet.
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And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You'd be nervous too if you knew that one day you'd get your head cut off and... filled with stuffing.
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