Quote

Just went to a lovely Catholic wedding. I need a drink. They didn't even offer us water. Well they did, but it was Holy water.

Bob Saget

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Bob Saget
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: May 17
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Robert Lane Saget
Needs
Drink
Even
Holy
Went
Water
Wedding
Didn
Offer
Wells
Lovely
Well
Catholic
Need
Offers

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A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!
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I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.
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The greatness of a man is only measured by his urologist.
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It's okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
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I think comedy is on an organic upsurge right now because when I started, it was 1978 at The Comedy Store and Letterman had just stopped emceeing his morning show.
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All I've ever done is try to entertain my way through a life that often has a huge amount of heaviness in it.
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I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they're really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I'm not laughing.
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It's so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.
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It think acceptance levels sort of swings back and forth. Like in the 60's there was a lot more freedom with sex that doesn't exist today. Language has gotten pushed a bit farther and violence is way far out.
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And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You'd be nervous too if you knew that one day you'd get your head cut off and... filled with stuffing.
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My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.
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They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?
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It's a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is - reading the news or speaking to people.
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Yet there are some people - Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored.
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A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked.
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Apparently my street has a leaf blower gang who tag team all day, so the sounds of the leaf blower are forever blowing from dawn to dusk.
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I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, 'Radio can wait, take me to the Full House house.' It literally was a drive-by. I photobombed the Full House house yesterday. I took like 20 pictures because I thought I didn't look good in any of these - you can't see the house! You gotta really show that that's the house!
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What do you do if you're in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
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Some dead people said smart stuff.
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