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Nobody can tell me what I can or can't do, except they can.

Bob Saget

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Bob Saget
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: May 17
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Robert Lane Saget
Except
Nobody
Tell

More quotes by Bob Saget

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I don't censor myself, but I don't want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.
Bob Saget
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If someone sprays windex in your food it can give you diarrhea. But once you wipe it off your windows, you're fine.
Bob Saget
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It think acceptance levels sort of swings back and forth. Like in the 60's there was a lot more freedom with sex that doesn't exist today. Language has gotten pushed a bit farther and violence is way far out.
Bob Saget
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Yet there are some people - Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored.
Bob Saget
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I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they're really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I'm not laughing.
Bob Saget
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My dad's like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars?
Bob Saget
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I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, 'Radio can wait, take me to the Full House house.' It literally was a drive-by. I photobombed the Full House house yesterday. I took like 20 pictures because I thought I didn't look good in any of these - you can't see the house! You gotta really show that that's the house!
Bob Saget
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It's okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
Bob Saget
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Some dead people said smart stuff.
Bob Saget
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I can't do negative, needy, or narcissistic anymore. Oh wait, I can still do the last one, aw nuts.
Bob Saget
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I don't like to drink alone 'cause there's nobody to fight with.
Bob Saget
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My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that's how he dealt with my mom.
Bob Saget
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The selfish and usually pointless approach is to try to get both done simultaneously - accomplish your work at hand while begging forgiveness of those close to you while you're basically working in front of them during what could've been specifically 'quality time.'
Bob Saget
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My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.
Bob Saget
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My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.
Bob Saget
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What I've learned about comedy people is that they're defined by the harshest level they've been to, their personal Auschwitz.
Bob Saget
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I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.
Bob Saget
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A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked.
Bob Saget
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Soon, I'm going to meet somebody around my own age, and she's going to be smart and beautiful, and I'm going to date her daughter.
Bob Saget
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And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You'd be nervous too if you knew that one day you'd get your head cut off and... filled with stuffing.
Bob Saget