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I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn't get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn't join a biker club.

Bob Saget

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Bob Saget
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: May 17
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Robert Lane Saget
Couldn
Bikers
Wouldn
Ivy
Went
Camp
Kids
Camps
School
Join
Never
Club
League
Clubs
Biker

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It's okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
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My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that's how he dealt with my mom.
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Soon, I'm going to meet somebody around my own age, and she's going to be smart and beautiful, and I'm going to date her daughter.
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I'm fortunate to know a lot of incredibly talented people, and they all want to be a penguin.
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All I've ever done is try to entertain my way through a life that often has a huge amount of heaviness in it.
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What I've learned about comedy people is that they're defined by the harshest level they've been to, their personal Auschwitz.
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I am stressed because once I am flattened out so thin to be able to slide under a doorway, I may never be able to ever be unflattened so I could be regular sized again.
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Full House was a show that was done for ten-year-olds. The critics hated it. They said terrible, terrible things about it. But it should have been reviewed by ten-year-olds. That's who it was made for. They loved it. And if they loved it, great. Why the hell does a fifty-year-old guy working at a big newspaper have to tell me I'm a piece of crap?
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And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You'd be nervous too if you knew that one day you'd get your head cut off and... filled with stuffing.
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They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?
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Apparently my street has a leaf blower gang who tag team all day, so the sounds of the leaf blower are forever blowing from dawn to dusk.
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Concerned we're in a time where politicians can't even fake sincerity. Aren't they supposed to be good at that?
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What do you do if you're in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
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My favorite procrastination is to make the choice to have valuable times with human beings that I care about instead of holing myself up alone to get my work done.
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I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they're going to see it, especially her guy friends.
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I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they're really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I'm not laughing.
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My girlfriend just told me I am one of the smartest people she knows. I told her, You need to meet other people.
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My confidence wavers between being genuine and being insecure.
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Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I'm going back to bed.
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I just did a play in New York which has been my best experience that Ive had for maybe ever. It was Paul Weitzs play called Privilege and I was in New York for three months.
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