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I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they're going to see it, especially her guy friends.

Bob Saget

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Bob Saget
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: May 17
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Robert Lane Saget
Going
Oldest
Aristocracy
Especially
Told
Guy
Friends
Three
Kids
Aristocrats

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I have a feeling I'm going to wake up one day and say 'I can't do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean.' I'll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on we shot it at The Laugh Factory.
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It's 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It's enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren't there that are alive.
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My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that's how he dealt with my mom.
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Some dead people said smart stuff.
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I was on Entourage last week smoking a bong and making out with hookers and I did show them that before, cause it wasn't a hard 'r' cause a lot of people are watching that show that they know, not my little one - she's 12, but very sophisticated so it's an unusual case.
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It's okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
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A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked.
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Full House was a show that was done for ten-year-olds. The critics hated it. They said terrible, terrible things about it. But it should have been reviewed by ten-year-olds. That's who it was made for. They loved it. And if they loved it, great. Why the hell does a fifty-year-old guy working at a big newspaper have to tell me I'm a piece of crap?
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I'd like a nice piece of salmon that's not too pink inside and yet isn't too dry or crisp either.
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What do you do if you're in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
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I like to approach every day like it's my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.
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Valuable people are undervalued.
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Just went to a lovely Catholic wedding. I need a drink. They didn't even offer us water. Well they did, but it was Holy water.
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I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, 'Radio can wait, take me to the Full House house.' It literally was a drive-by. I photobombed the Full House house yesterday. I took like 20 pictures because I thought I didn't look good in any of these - you can't see the house! You gotta really show that that's the house!
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It's so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.
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Words matter. Especially ones with four letters.
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I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.
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Nobody can tell me what I can or can't do, except they can.
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Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I'm going back to bed.
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Ladies, apologies, but isn't 'vintage' just used stuff?
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