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One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we'll have her forever.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Greatest
Lucille
Forever
Gifts
Ball
Thanks
Balls
Laughter
Mankind
Television

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You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you're turning the pages.
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A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
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I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, 'What do I do next?' Pat replied, 'Wait till the pain dies down.'
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I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!
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I don't know what people have against government they haven't done anything.
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Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
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Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
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Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
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The place was so British, I wouldn't have been surprised if the mice wore monocles.
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I'm from Los Angeles... I don't trust any air I can't see.
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With today's movies, if we took out all the bad language, we'd go back to silent films.
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The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE - and a maid to press it for me.
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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?
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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
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Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He's always had an agent for that.
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It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn't know they had a caddie division.
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I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight - and that was just their hair.
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Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.
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We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
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