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Everyone's nervous these days. Ronald McDonald has hired six bodyguards, and that's just to protect his buns.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Days
Buns
Everyone
Bodyguard
Mcdonald
Ronald
Hired
Nervous
Six
Protect
Bodyguards

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Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?
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The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I've been doing that all my life.
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
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I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
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America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold.
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My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
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Eisenhower admitted that the budget can't be balanced and McCarthy said the communists are taking over. You don't know what to worry about these days - whether the country will be overthrown or overdrawn.
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I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage.
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I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
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I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.
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Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here - just for me.
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A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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Foursomes have left the first tee there and have never been seen again. They just find their shoelaces and bags.
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I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight - and that was just their hair.
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She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all.
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I can't give up Golf, I've got too many sweaters.
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Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He's always had an agent for that.
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I've been married fifty-five years and I've been home three weeks.
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Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
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I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.
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