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The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Firm
Ticker
Ahead
Prints
Market
Aspirin
Times
Report
Really
Thin
Stock
Reports
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Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
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I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.
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I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, 'What do I do next?' Pat replied, 'Wait till the pain dies down.'
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We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
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Eisenhower admitted that the budget can't be balanced and McCarthy said the communists are taking over. You don't know what to worry about these days - whether the country will be overthrown or overdrawn.
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When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.
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Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
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I've been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
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I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage.
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Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
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I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
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A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
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Bing Crosby and I weren't the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other. One of our stock lines used to be There's nothing I wouldn't do for Bing, and there's nothing he wouldn't do for me. And that's the way we go through life - doing nothing for each other!
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
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Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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I was there. I saw your sons and your husbands, your brothers and your sweethearts. I saw how they worked, played, fought, and lived. I saw some of them die. I saw more courage, more good humor in the face of discomfort, more love in an era of hate and more devotion to duty than could exist under tyranny.
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I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
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Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I've never heard of a clean one.
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I can't understand what's holding up our missile program. It's the first time the government ever had trouble making the taxpayers' money go up in smoke.
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He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
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