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I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Many
Elected
Jokes
Getting
Political

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All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It's in the lease.
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Louis B. Mayer came out west with $28.00, a box camera and an old lion. He built a monument to himself -- the Bank of America.
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I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people.
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Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.
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Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
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I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters.
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You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you're turning the pages.
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It flies so high, I swear I heard the organs playing.
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I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
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Your ignorance cramps my conversation
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I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
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I knew the President would run for reelection in 1984. Why not? Actors love sequels ... and returns.
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I felt I wasn't getting anywhere in England.
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The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything.
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The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn't got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
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I've never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn't know how really great he is.
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I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
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Television. That's where movies go when they die.
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Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
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