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I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Elected
Jokes
Getting
Political
Many

More quotes by Bob Hope

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You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
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Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.
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To give you an idea of how fast we travelled - we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.
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I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
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He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
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If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
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I can still chase women, only downhill
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I don't know what people have against government they haven't done anything.
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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
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The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn't got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
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She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all.
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I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters.
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Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.
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Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
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Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for.
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I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight - and that was just their hair.
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It flies so high, I swear I heard the organs playing.
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I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
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A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
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