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I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Elected
Jokes
Getting
Political
Many

More quotes by Bob Hope

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Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes. The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.
Bob Hope
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All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It's in the lease.
Bob Hope
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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?
Bob Hope
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With today's movies, if we took out all the bad language, we'd go back to silent films.
Bob Hope
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She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
Bob Hope
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Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!
Bob Hope
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I left England when I was four because I found out I could never be King.
Bob Hope
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My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.
Bob Hope
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Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
Bob Hope
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As soon as the war ended, we located the one spot on earth that hadn't been touched by the war and blew it to hell.
Bob Hope
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I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.
Bob Hope
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I knew the President would run for reelection in 1984. Why not? Actors love sequels ... and returns.
Bob Hope
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I've never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn't know how really great he is.
Bob Hope
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I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.
Bob Hope
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I don't know what people have against government they haven't done anything.
Bob Hope
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It flies so high, I swear I heard the organs playing.
Bob Hope
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Bing Crosby and I weren't the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other. One of our stock lines used to be There's nothing I wouldn't do for Bing, and there's nothing he wouldn't do for me. And that's the way we go through life - doing nothing for each other!
Bob Hope
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I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
Bob Hope
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I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters.
Bob Hope
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We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
Bob Hope