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I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Elected
Jokes
Getting
Political
Many

More quotes by Bob Hope

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The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE - and a maid to press it for me.
Bob Hope
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Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!
Bob Hope
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After the 1984 Summer Olympics, Reagan wanted to add the U.S. volleyball team to his Cabinet. He figured if they can't shove his programs down Congress' throat, nobody can.
Bob Hope
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Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
Bob Hope
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I can't give up Golf, I've got too many sweaters.
Bob Hope
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I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!
Bob Hope
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I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
Bob Hope
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A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
Bob Hope
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We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
Bob Hope
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As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, Don't worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it's obsolete.
Bob Hope
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I've been married fifty-five years and I've been home three weeks.
Bob Hope
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I'm from Los Angeles... I don't trust any air I can't see.
Bob Hope
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Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for.
Bob Hope
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I was there. I saw your sons and your husbands, your brothers and your sweethearts. I saw how they worked, played, fought, and lived. I saw some of them die. I saw more courage, more good humor in the face of discomfort, more love in an era of hate and more devotion to duty than could exist under tyranny.
Bob Hope
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I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
Bob Hope
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I knew the President would run for reelection in 1984. Why not? Actors love sequels ... and returns.
Bob Hope
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I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
Bob Hope
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Our first stop was red square, the heart of Moscow - if Moscow has one.
Bob Hope
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Take nine strokes off your score. Skip the last hole.
Bob Hope
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He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
Bob Hope