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I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Elected
Jokes
Getting
Political
Many

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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
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I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
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Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
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Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He's always had an agent for that.
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A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
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We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
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A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
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Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes. The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.
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When you get over 95, every day is your day.
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I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.
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He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
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Seventy years of ad-lib material, and I am speechless.
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I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
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The audience was swell. They were so polite they covered their mouths when they yawned.
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I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters.
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The place was so British, I wouldn't have been surprised if the mice wore monocles.
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I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
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There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
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With today's movies, if we took out all the bad language, we'd go back to silent films.
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Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level.
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