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I can't understand what's holding up our missile program. It's the first time the government ever had trouble making the taxpayers' money go up in smoke.
Bob Hope
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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Firsts
Smoke
First
Program
Time
Trouble
Making
Understand
Missile
Money
Missiles
Government
Taxpayers
Ever
Holding
More quotes by Bob Hope
I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
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Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?
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I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people.
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America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold.
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You know what a fan letter is - it's just an inky raspberry.
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Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
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There's a very apt saying in show business: If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very sick.
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Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
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It flies so high, I swear I heard the organs playing.
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The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything.
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I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
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Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.
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Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
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I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.
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We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
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It gave dirty politics a bad name.
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The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
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I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
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Television. That's where movies go when they die.
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