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I can't understand what's holding up our missile program. It's the first time the government ever had trouble making the taxpayers' money go up in smoke.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Government
Taxpayers
Ever
Holding
Firsts
Smoke
First
Program
Time
Trouble
Making
Understand
Missile
Money
Missiles

More quotes by Bob Hope

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Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.
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Bing Crosby and I weren't the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other. One of our stock lines used to be There's nothing I wouldn't do for Bing, and there's nothing he wouldn't do for me. And that's the way we go through life - doing nothing for each other!
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Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes. The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.
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A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
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The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE - and a maid to press it for me.
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If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
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I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
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When you get over 95, every day is your day.
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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
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The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I've been doing that all my life.
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Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!
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Lots of travel, away from home.
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I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.
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I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.
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There's a very apt saying in show business: If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very sick.
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You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
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Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.
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You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers.
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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
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I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters.
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