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Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Aids
Years
Hearing
People
Finally
Telling
Couldn
Hear
Reaganomics
Funny
Reagan
President

More quotes by Bob Hope

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The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
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You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you're turning the pages.
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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
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Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
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The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
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When you get over 95, every day is your day.
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We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
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Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He's always had an agent for that.
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I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
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My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.
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I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
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A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
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I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!
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Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.
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All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It's in the lease.
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He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
Bob Hope
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You know what a fan letter is - it's just an inky raspberry.
Bob Hope
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America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold.
Bob Hope
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It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn't know they had a caddie division.
Bob Hope