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Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Years
Aids
People
Hearing
Finally
Telling
Couldn
Hear
Funny
Reaganomics
President
Reagan

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Television. That's where movies go when they die.
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Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
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I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters.
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I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
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I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.
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All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It's in the lease.
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Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.
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President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.
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I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.
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When you get over 95, every day is your day.
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It's very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
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I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
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After the 1984 Summer Olympics, Reagan wanted to add the U.S. volleyball team to his Cabinet. He figured if they can't shove his programs down Congress' throat, nobody can.
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I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
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The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything.
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You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
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My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.
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He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
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I felt I wasn't getting anywhere in England.
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