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Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
People
Hearing
Finally
Telling
Couldn
Hear
Funny
Reaganomics
President
Reagan
Years
Aids

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I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.
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Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.
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Your ignorance cramps my conversation
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My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.
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It gave dirty politics a bad name.
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The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
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It sure has been a pleasure for us to broadcast for the sailors and soldiers besides, its part of the National Defence Program to prepare our boys for anything.
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Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for.
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I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
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If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.
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Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
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I knew the President would run for reelection in 1984. Why not? Actors love sequels ... and returns.
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My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
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Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level.
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
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Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
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She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
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Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
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Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful she turned it into a series.
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