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Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
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Reaganomics
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Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
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The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.
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The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
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I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage.
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America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold.
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I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
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Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It's going to get us out of the house after dark!
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Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?
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It flies so high, I swear I heard the organs playing.
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The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn't got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
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I can't understand what's holding up our missile program. It's the first time the government ever had trouble making the taxpayers' money go up in smoke.
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Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful she turned it into a series.
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You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
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You know what a fan letter is - it's just an inky raspberry.
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Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.
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I can't give up Golf, I've got too many sweaters.
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Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for.
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To give you an idea of how fast we travelled - we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.
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Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
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Bing Crosby and I weren't the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other. One of our stock lines used to be There's nothing I wouldn't do for Bing, and there's nothing he wouldn't do for me. And that's the way we go through life - doing nothing for each other!
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