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Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
President
Reagan
Years
Aids
People
Hearing
Finally
Telling
Couldn
Hear
Funny
Reaganomics

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The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.
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I was there. I saw your sons and your husbands, your brothers and your sweethearts. I saw how they worked, played, fought, and lived. I saw some of them die. I saw more courage, more good humor in the face of discomfort, more love in an era of hate and more devotion to duty than could exist under tyranny.
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It's very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?
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Everyone's nervous these days. Ronald McDonald has hired six bodyguards, and that's just to protect his buns.
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I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
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Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem. They're all running for the Presidency.
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Television. That's where movies go when they die.
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If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
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My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.
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I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage.
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I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.
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We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.
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Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don't worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
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I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
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I left England when I was four because I found out I could never be King.
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I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
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We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
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If they liked you, they didn't applaud -- they let you live.
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I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.
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