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The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything.
Bob Hope
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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
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Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
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More quotes by Bob Hope
I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?
Bob Hope
Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
Bob Hope
I can't understand what's holding up our missile program. It's the first time the government ever had trouble making the taxpayers' money go up in smoke.
Bob Hope
It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn't know they had a caddie division.
Bob Hope
Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It's going to get us out of the house after dark!
Bob Hope
Foursomes have left the first tee there and have never been seen again. They just find their shoelaces and bags.
Bob Hope
You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you're turning the pages.
Bob Hope
A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
Bob Hope
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
Bob Hope
Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.
Bob Hope
Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
Bob Hope
I've been married fifty-five years and I've been home three weeks.
Bob Hope
I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, 'What do I do next?' Pat replied, 'Wait till the pain dies down.'
Bob Hope
Take nine strokes off your score. Skip the last hole.
Bob Hope
Our first stop was red square, the heart of Moscow - if Moscow has one.
Bob Hope
If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.
Bob Hope
Television. That's where movies go when they die.
Bob Hope
Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful she turned it into a series.
Bob Hope
Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
Bob Hope
The audience was swell. They were so polite they covered their mouths when they yawned.
Bob Hope