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I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Appointing
Tells
Jokes
Instead
President
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The audience was swell. They were so polite they covered their mouths when they yawned.
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Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.
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My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
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I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
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There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
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Your ignorance cramps my conversation
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I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
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Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
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I'm from Los Angeles... I don't trust any air I can't see.
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I was there. I saw your sons and your husbands, your brothers and your sweethearts. I saw how they worked, played, fought, and lived. I saw some of them die. I saw more courage, more good humor in the face of discomfort, more love in an era of hate and more devotion to duty than could exist under tyranny.
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Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!
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I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
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The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
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The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything.
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Eisenhower admitted that the budget can't be balanced and McCarthy said the communists are taking over. You don't know what to worry about these days - whether the country will be overthrown or overdrawn.
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You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you're turning the pages.
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You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.
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I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
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As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, Don't worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it's obsolete.
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The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I've been doing that all my life.
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