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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Return
Politics
Perfect
Money
Simplified
Form
Address
Government
Addresses
Print
Taxes

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She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
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The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything.
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I'm from Los Angeles... I don't trust any air I can't see.
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One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we'll have her forever.
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Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
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We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.
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It's very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
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England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
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Bing Crosby and I weren't the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other. One of our stock lines used to be There's nothing I wouldn't do for Bing, and there's nothing he wouldn't do for me. And that's the way we go through life - doing nothing for each other!
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I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters.
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My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
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I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
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The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
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My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.
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The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE - and a maid to press it for me.
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Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
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He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
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Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It's going to get us out of the house after dark!
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There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
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I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.
Bob Hope