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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
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Taxes
Return
Politics
Perfect
Money
Simplified
Form
Address
Government
Addresses

More quotes by Bob Hope

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It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn't know they had a caddie division.
Bob Hope
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As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, Don't worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it's obsolete.
Bob Hope
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YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT.
Bob Hope
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You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.
Bob Hope
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If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
Bob Hope
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My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
Bob Hope
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I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage.
Bob Hope
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Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful she turned it into a series.
Bob Hope
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Celebrities have a way of touching our lives. Perhaps we are influenced by their screen image, or perhaps by their acquired status. Here are some celebrity quotes about Christmas. You will find that just like everybody else, celebrities also enjoy the little pleasures of Christmas.
Bob Hope
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He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
Bob Hope
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I felt I wasn't getting anywhere in England.
Bob Hope
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I'm from Los Angeles... I don't trust any air I can't see.
Bob Hope
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I knew the President would run for reelection in 1984. Why not? Actors love sequels ... and returns.
Bob Hope
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She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all.
Bob Hope
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If they liked you, they didn't applaud -- they let you live.
Bob Hope
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Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!
Bob Hope
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I was there. I saw your sons and your husbands, your brothers and your sweethearts. I saw how they worked, played, fought, and lived. I saw some of them die. I saw more courage, more good humor in the face of discomfort, more love in an era of hate and more devotion to duty than could exist under tyranny.
Bob Hope
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I've been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
Bob Hope
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Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
Bob Hope
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She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
Bob Hope