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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?
Bob Hope
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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
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Taxes
Return
Politics
Perfect
Money
Simplified
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Address
Government
Addresses
More quotes by Bob Hope
The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything.
Bob Hope
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
Bob Hope
The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
Bob Hope
Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?
Bob Hope
I left England when I was four because I found out I could never be King.
Bob Hope
Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.
Bob Hope
I knew the President would run for reelection in 1984. Why not? Actors love sequels ... and returns.
Bob Hope
Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
Bob Hope
My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.
Bob Hope
I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
Bob Hope
I can't give up Golf, I've got too many sweaters.
Bob Hope
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
Bob Hope
There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
Bob Hope
Celebrities have a way of touching our lives. Perhaps we are influenced by their screen image, or perhaps by their acquired status. Here are some celebrity quotes about Christmas. You will find that just like everybody else, celebrities also enjoy the little pleasures of Christmas.
Bob Hope
I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.
Bob Hope
I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
Bob Hope
Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level.
Bob Hope
Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
Bob Hope
Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
Bob Hope
He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
Bob Hope
