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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Money
Simplified
Form
Address
Government
Addresses
Print
Taxes
Return
Politics
Perfect

More quotes by Bob Hope

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I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it's silly to let the game get to you. When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I'm breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That's what gives me the strength to break the club.
Bob Hope
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To give you an idea of how fast we travelled - we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.
Bob Hope
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I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
Bob Hope
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I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
Bob Hope
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Louis B. Mayer came out west with $28.00, a box camera and an old lion. He built a monument to himself -- the Bank of America.
Bob Hope
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Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.
Bob Hope
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Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here - just for me.
Bob Hope
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Your ignorance cramps my conversation
Bob Hope
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America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold.
Bob Hope
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I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.
Bob Hope
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I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!
Bob Hope
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I can't understand what's holding up our missile program. It's the first time the government ever had trouble making the taxpayers' money go up in smoke.
Bob Hope
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I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
Bob Hope
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Free speech isn't dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers.
Bob Hope
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All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It's in the lease.
Bob Hope
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Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for.
Bob Hope
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Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.
Bob Hope
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My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.
Bob Hope
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I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there.
Bob Hope
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I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
Bob Hope