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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?
Bob Hope
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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
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Perfect
Money
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More quotes by Bob Hope
Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
Bob Hope
It flies so high, I swear I heard the organs playing.
Bob Hope
I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight - and that was just their hair.
Bob Hope
I've been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
Bob Hope
Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
Bob Hope
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.
Bob Hope
You know what a fan letter is - it's just an inky raspberry.
Bob Hope
Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don't worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
Bob Hope
I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
Bob Hope
A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
Bob Hope
The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I've been doing that all my life.
Bob Hope
Lots of travel, away from home.
Bob Hope
I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.
Bob Hope
The place was so British, I wouldn't have been surprised if the mice wore monocles.
Bob Hope
The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE - and a maid to press it for me.
Bob Hope
If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.
Bob Hope
Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
Bob Hope
Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
Bob Hope
The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.
Bob Hope
After the 1984 Summer Olympics, Reagan wanted to add the U.S. volleyball team to his Cabinet. He figured if they can't shove his programs down Congress' throat, nobody can.
Bob Hope
