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We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Easy
Flew
Routes
Ashes
Humorous
England
Follow
Churchill
Took
Cigar
Funny
Route

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I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
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I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
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I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, 'What do I do next?' Pat replied, 'Wait till the pain dies down.'
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It's very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
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Take nine strokes off your score. Skip the last hole.
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President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.
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Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I've never heard of a clean one.
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Seventy years of ad-lib material, and I am speechless.
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If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
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Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?
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I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
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It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn't know they had a caddie division.
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There's a very apt saying in show business: If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very sick.
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When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.
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My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.
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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
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I'm from Los Angeles... I don't trust any air I can't see.
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