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You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Consists
Reached
Merely
Standing
Middle
Age

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As soon as the war ended, we located the one spot on earth that hadn't been touched by the war and blew it to hell.
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Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I've never heard of a clean one.
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I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.
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I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.
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Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for.
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Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
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I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!
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I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
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I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight - and that was just their hair.
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You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.
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I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
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Louis B. Mayer came out west with $28.00, a box camera and an old lion. He built a monument to himself -- the Bank of America.
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She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
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Bing Crosby and I weren't the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other. One of our stock lines used to be There's nothing I wouldn't do for Bing, and there's nothing he wouldn't do for me. And that's the way we go through life - doing nothing for each other!
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He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
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I can't give up Golf, I've got too many sweaters.
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