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I've been married fifty-five years and I've been home three weeks.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Five
Three
Home
Years
Weeks
Fifty
Married
Marriage
Week

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I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, 'What do I do next?' Pat replied, 'Wait till the pain dies down.'
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With today's movies, if we took out all the bad language, we'd go back to silent films.
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When you get over 95, every day is your day.
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I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
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To give you an idea of how fast we travelled - we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.
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Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!
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Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.
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When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.
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The place was so British, I wouldn't have been surprised if the mice wore monocles.
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A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
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YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT.
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I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
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It gave dirty politics a bad name.
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I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there.
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The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
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It's very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
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Foursomes have left the first tee there and have never been seen again. They just find their shoelaces and bags.
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A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
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If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.
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There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
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