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I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Threw
Wasn
Audience
Stuff
Anything
Would
Men

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I felt I wasn't getting anywhere in England.
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The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
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He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
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Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.
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If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.
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Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?
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I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.
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I don't know what people have against government they haven't done anything.
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Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don't worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
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To give you an idea of how fast we travelled - we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.
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I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
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We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
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You know, marriage is making a big comeback. I know personally that in Hollywood people are marrying people they never married before.
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A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
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Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It's going to get us out of the house after dark!
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Television. That's where movies go when they die.
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All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It's in the lease.
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Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
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Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.
Bob Hope