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I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Men
Threw
Wasn
Audience
Stuff
Anything
Would

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Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.
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My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
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Free speech isn't dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers.
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Celebrities have a way of touching our lives. Perhaps we are influenced by their screen image, or perhaps by their acquired status. Here are some celebrity quotes about Christmas. You will find that just like everybody else, celebrities also enjoy the little pleasures of Christmas.
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She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
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Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He's always had an agent for that.
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The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.
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I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people.
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Seventy years of ad-lib material, and I am speechless.
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Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don't worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
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I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
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Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here - just for me.
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
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I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
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The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything.
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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
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As soon as the war ended, we located the one spot on earth that hadn't been touched by the war and blew it to hell.
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Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.
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Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.
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I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.
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