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I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Stuff
Anything
Would
Men
Threw
Wasn
Audience

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I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there.
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Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
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You know what a fan letter is - it's just an inky raspberry.
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I left England when I was four because I found out I could never be King.
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I've been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
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If they liked you, they didn't applaud -- they let you live.
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A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
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You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you're turning the pages.
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
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I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.
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Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It's going to get us out of the house after dark!
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I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
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The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I've been doing that all my life.
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President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.
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I can't give up Golf, I've got too many sweaters.
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Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for.
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Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
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Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He's always had an agent for that.
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Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes. The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.
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My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.
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