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Seventy years of ad-lib material, and I am speechless.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Material
Materials
Years
Speechless
Seventy
Seventies
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More quotes by Bob Hope

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If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.
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When you get over 95, every day is your day.
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The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn't got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
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Louis B. Mayer came out west with $28.00, a box camera and an old lion. He built a monument to himself -- the Bank of America.
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I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
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He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
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President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.
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I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage.
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There's a very apt saying in show business: If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very sick.
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I can't give up Golf, I've got too many sweaters.
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My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.
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I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
Bob Hope
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You know what a fan letter is - it's just an inky raspberry.
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Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.
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Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.
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A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
Bob Hope
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Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don't worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
Bob Hope
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Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for.
Bob Hope
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I've never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn't know how really great he is.
Bob Hope
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The place was so British, I wouldn't have been surprised if the mice wore monocles.
Bob Hope