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Seventy years of ad-lib material, and I am speechless.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Material
Materials
Years
Speechless
Seventy
Seventies
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More quotes by Bob Hope

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If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.
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Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
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He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
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Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes. The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.
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The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
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I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
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The audience was swell. They were so polite they covered their mouths when they yawned.
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Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.
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As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, Don't worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it's obsolete.
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Be happy you guys. Be proud! You know what you are: you're God's frozen people.
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Take nine strokes off your score. Skip the last hole.
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There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
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After the 1984 Summer Olympics, Reagan wanted to add the U.S. volleyball team to his Cabinet. He figured if they can't shove his programs down Congress' throat, nobody can.
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When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.
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My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
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It's very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
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Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
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Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It's going to get us out of the house after dark!
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I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
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I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight - and that was just their hair.
Bob Hope