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I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight - and that was just their hair.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Overweight
Beatles
Arrived
Pounds
England
Hair

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If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.
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America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold.
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I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
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I've been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
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As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, Don't worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it's obsolete.
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I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
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I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
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All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It's in the lease.
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Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem. They're all running for the Presidency.
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Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
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I can't give up Golf, I've got too many sweaters.
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It's very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
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I've been married fifty-five years and I've been home three weeks.
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We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
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The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I've been doing that all my life.
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I don't know what people have against government they haven't done anything.
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A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
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Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
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One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we'll have her forever.
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Be happy you guys. Be proud! You know what you are: you're God's frozen people.
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