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I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight - and that was just their hair.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Arrived
Pounds
England
Hair
Overweight
Beatles

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I have too much money invested in sweaters.
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Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for.
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If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
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Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?
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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
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Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here - just for me.
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Everyone's nervous these days. Ronald McDonald has hired six bodyguards, and that's just to protect his buns.
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We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.
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I can still chase women, only downhill
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Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It's going to get us out of the house after dark!
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All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It's in the lease.
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I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.
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I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
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I don't know what people have against government they haven't done anything.
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Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.
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I can't understand what's holding up our missile program. It's the first time the government ever had trouble making the taxpayers' money go up in smoke.
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When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.
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Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
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I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
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The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything.
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