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I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight - and that was just their hair.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Overweight
Beatles
Arrived
Pounds
England
Hair

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There's a very apt saying in show business: If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very sick.
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If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.
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Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
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You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.
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It flies so high, I swear I heard the organs playing.
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Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.
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One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we'll have her forever.
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As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, Don't worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it's obsolete.
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He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
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Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
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My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
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Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.
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Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
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There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
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All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It's in the lease.
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The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I've been doing that all my life.
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Louis B. Mayer came out west with $28.00, a box camera and an old lion. He built a monument to himself -- the Bank of America.
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I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!
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Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
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I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
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