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I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight - and that was just their hair.
Bob Hope
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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Pounds
England
Hair
Overweight
Beatles
Arrived
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He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
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I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.
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I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
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I've been married fifty-five years and I've been home three weeks.
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Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here - just for me.
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A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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As soon as the war ended, we located the one spot on earth that hadn't been touched by the war and blew it to hell.
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When you get over 95, every day is your day.
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A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
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Television. That's where movies go when they die.
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I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
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I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.
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I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, 'What do I do next?' Pat replied, 'Wait till the pain dies down.'
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Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
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Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
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Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?
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Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
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The audience was swell. They were so polite they covered their mouths when they yawned.
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Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
Bob Hope
