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I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight - and that was just their hair.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Hair
Overweight
Beatles
Arrived
Pounds
England

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England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
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Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.
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Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
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With today's movies, if we took out all the bad language, we'd go back to silent films.
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I felt I wasn't getting anywhere in England.
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Take nine strokes off your score. Skip the last hole.
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Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
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I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!
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You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers.
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Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
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She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
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There's a very apt saying in show business: If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very sick.
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Bing Crosby and I weren't the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other. One of our stock lines used to be There's nothing I wouldn't do for Bing, and there's nothing he wouldn't do for me. And that's the way we go through life - doing nothing for each other!
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Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!
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There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
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Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don't worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
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I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
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Seventy years of ad-lib material, and I am speechless.
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A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
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I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.
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