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I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight - and that was just their hair.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Hair
Overweight
Beatles
Arrived
Pounds
England

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Your ignorance cramps my conversation
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The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.
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President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.
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I'm from Los Angeles... I don't trust any air I can't see.
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I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people.
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If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.
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I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
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Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
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I can still chase women, only downhill
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I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
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I've been married fifty-five years and I've been home three weeks.
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Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful she turned it into a series.
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Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
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Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
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You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you're turning the pages.
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Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don't worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
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I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there.
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A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
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One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we'll have her forever.
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The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE - and a maid to press it for me.
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