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Your ignorance cramps my conversation

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Cramps
Ignorance
Conversation

More quotes by Bob Hope

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I've been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
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You know what a fan letter is - it's just an inky raspberry.
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I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!
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When you get over 95, every day is your day.
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Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
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I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.
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Take nine strokes off your score. Skip the last hole.
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Foursomes have left the first tee there and have never been seen again. They just find their shoelaces and bags.
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I have too much money invested in sweaters.
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I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there.
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The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I've been doing that all my life.
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You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you're turning the pages.
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I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
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I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it's silly to let the game get to you. When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I'm breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That's what gives me the strength to break the club.
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You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.
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Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.
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Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It's going to get us out of the house after dark!
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We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
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I've never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn't know how really great he is.
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