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Your ignorance cramps my conversation

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Cramps
Ignorance
Conversation

More quotes by Bob Hope

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The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
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I've been married fifty-five years and I've been home three weeks.
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Eisenhower admitted that the budget can't be balanced and McCarthy said the communists are taking over. You don't know what to worry about these days - whether the country will be overthrown or overdrawn.
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We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
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I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!
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I knew the President would run for reelection in 1984. Why not? Actors love sequels ... and returns.
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If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
Bob Hope
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I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
Bob Hope
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Bing Crosby and I weren't the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other. One of our stock lines used to be There's nothing I wouldn't do for Bing, and there's nothing he wouldn't do for me. And that's the way we go through life - doing nothing for each other!
Bob Hope
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Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
Bob Hope
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The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything.
Bob Hope
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
Bob Hope
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I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.
Bob Hope
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I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage.
Bob Hope
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Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
Bob Hope
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Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.
Bob Hope
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Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes. The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.
Bob Hope
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Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!
Bob Hope
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I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
Bob Hope
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I have too much money invested in sweaters.
Bob Hope