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Your ignorance cramps my conversation

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Conversation
Cramps
Ignorance

More quotes by Bob Hope

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President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.
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I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight - and that was just their hair.
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I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
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After the 1984 Summer Olympics, Reagan wanted to add the U.S. volleyball team to his Cabinet. He figured if they can't shove his programs down Congress' throat, nobody can.
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I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters.
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You know, marriage is making a big comeback. I know personally that in Hollywood people are marrying people they never married before.
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Everyone's nervous these days. Ronald McDonald has hired six bodyguards, and that's just to protect his buns.
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Television. That's where movies go when they die.
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The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything.
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I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there.
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I can't understand what's holding up our missile program. It's the first time the government ever had trouble making the taxpayers' money go up in smoke.
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I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
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A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we'll have her forever.
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The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE - and a maid to press it for me.
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Take nine strokes off your score. Skip the last hole.
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I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
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YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT.
Bob Hope
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
Bob Hope
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I've never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn't know how really great he is.
Bob Hope