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Your ignorance cramps my conversation

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Cramps
Ignorance
Conversation

More quotes by Bob Hope

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You know, marriage is making a big comeback. I know personally that in Hollywood people are marrying people they never married before.
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I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!
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If they liked you, they didn't applaud -- they let you live.
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You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you're turning the pages.
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The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE - and a maid to press it for me.
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Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
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I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there.
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As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, Don't worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it's obsolete.
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Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.
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Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem. They're all running for the Presidency.
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A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
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After the 1984 Summer Olympics, Reagan wanted to add the U.S. volleyball team to his Cabinet. He figured if they can't shove his programs down Congress' throat, nobody can.
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I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
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Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
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You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers.
Bob Hope
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Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!
Bob Hope
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Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
Bob Hope
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Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I've never heard of a clean one.
Bob Hope
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I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight - and that was just their hair.
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He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
Bob Hope