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You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you're turning the pages.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Hard
Dollars
Finger
Pages
Dollar
Reading
Extra
Funny
Extras
Paperback
House
Turning
Edition
Around
Personally
Covers
Book
Fifty
Wet
Come
Fingers
Cents

More quotes by Bob Hope

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YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT.
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I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
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The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.
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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?
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I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.
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As soon as the war ended, we located the one spot on earth that hadn't been touched by the war and blew it to hell.
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
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After the 1984 Summer Olympics, Reagan wanted to add the U.S. volleyball team to his Cabinet. He figured if they can't shove his programs down Congress' throat, nobody can.
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It sure has been a pleasure for us to broadcast for the sailors and soldiers besides, its part of the National Defence Program to prepare our boys for anything.
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I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, 'What do I do next?' Pat replied, 'Wait till the pain dies down.'
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Free speech isn't dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers.
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I've been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
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You know what a fan letter is - it's just an inky raspberry.
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He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
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It gave dirty politics a bad name.
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We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
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There's a very apt saying in show business: If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very sick.
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The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
Bob Hope
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I don't know what people have against government they haven't done anything.
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I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there.
Bob Hope