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Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
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You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?
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Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for.
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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
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Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.
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Bing Crosby and I weren't the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other. One of our stock lines used to be There's nothing I wouldn't do for Bing, and there's nothing he wouldn't do for me. And that's the way we go through life - doing nothing for each other!
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I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
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