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Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
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Beat
Beats
Congress
Gift
Soon
Home
Holidays
May
Holiday
Going
Christmas

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I have too much money invested in sweaters.
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With today's movies, if we took out all the bad language, we'd go back to silent films.
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I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
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Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
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I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
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Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level.
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Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.
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I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
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Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?
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I knew the President would run for reelection in 1984. Why not? Actors love sequels ... and returns.
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I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.
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It flies so high, I swear I heard the organs playing.
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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?
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Everyone's nervous these days. Ronald McDonald has hired six bodyguards, and that's just to protect his buns.
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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
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Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem. They're all running for the Presidency.
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I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
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