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I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Chance
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America
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Always
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More quotes by Bob Hope

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If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.
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I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
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Your ignorance cramps my conversation
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President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.
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England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
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If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.
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Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
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I've never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn't know how really great he is.
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Eisenhower admitted that the budget can't be balanced and McCarthy said the communists are taking over. You don't know what to worry about these days - whether the country will be overthrown or overdrawn.
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We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.
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The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
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There's a very apt saying in show business: If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very sick.
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As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, Don't worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it's obsolete.
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You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you're turning the pages.
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Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.
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Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
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I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it's silly to let the game get to you. When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I'm breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That's what gives me the strength to break the club.
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I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage.
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I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.
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Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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