Quote

Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Money
Jack
Take
Bank
Way
Discovered
Afraid
Everybody
Taken
Appendix
Dies
Benny
Funny
Piggy

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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?
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I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
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I've been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
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She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
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I've never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn't know how really great he is.
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I felt I wasn't getting anywhere in England.
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When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.
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A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.
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Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.
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Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.
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Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes. The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.
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It sure has been a pleasure for us to broadcast for the sailors and soldiers besides, its part of the National Defence Program to prepare our boys for anything.
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Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.
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She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all.
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A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
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Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem. They're all running for the Presidency.
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If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
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Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don't worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
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You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
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