Quote

Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Everybody
Taken
Appendix
Dies
Benny
Funny
Piggy
Money
Jack
Take
Bank
Way
Discovered
Afraid

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I've been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
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I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
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You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.
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The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
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We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
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Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.
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A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
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I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters.
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Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?
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If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.
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Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
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After the 1984 Summer Olympics, Reagan wanted to add the U.S. volleyball team to his Cabinet. He figured if they can't shove his programs down Congress' throat, nobody can.
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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
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She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all.
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You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
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America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold.
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England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
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Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
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Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for.
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